Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Living in a bottle

I've not been blogging lately, it's so natural for me to be lazy.

When I first started this blog, I thought I would want to pen down my thoughts, reflections.

You see, I have a deficiency. I don't know whether this is illness. Perhaps there is a medical name for this condition.

It is very difficult for me to speak my feelings. Very sad to say, I've lived in a bottle for more than forty years. I guessed I was nurtured this way. In my family, during my growing up years, nobody spoke their affections, it is typical chinese family.

For me, I've got a rather depressing childhood, I grew up not believing in family and childhood.

I knew the people around me love me, but I'm just not so close to them. I hardly visit my family members......

I'm growing old lonely and depressing.
It's a cold lonely world.

"Living in a bottle" can be so suffocating. I don't know how to show affection. I just cramp up. It's so difficult for me to tell someone I care. My grandmother showed her concern and affection to me by scolding me. When I fell, she scolded me, that was just her way, and sadly, I took up to her.

Thanks to technology. At least now there are SMS, blog, facebook, email. All these invention helps me to communicate my feelings sometime......

I just wonder what is it like dying in a bottle???

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