I am not a Warrior but a Worrier

Sometimes, life is such an irony!

I have been trying to escape responsibility by avoiding having a family. I understand that I would not be capable of living a joyful life. "Mark" is supposed to mean "Warrior" biblically, but I am a Worrier instead. And it is because of this personality that will somehow swing my mood southward.

When Sunny came into my life, I worry so much and indeed, it was not a joy having Sunny in my life at all.
I worry whether he is itching too much.
I worry about whether he is too lonely at home being home alone so many hours in a day.
I worry about his skin allergy.
I worry about his peeing habit.
I simply worry about everything and it affects my mood.

Sunny is still peeing on the floor.
And now I am worrying about whether my loosing control of my temper will cause him to grow up emotionally unstable. So I heard about owner passing emotional problem to his pet dog.

You see, even I tried very hard telling myself not to get angry when Sunny pee on the floor, but once he does it, I totally loose control.
I scream at him, hit him, pull his ears, and scream at him again at the top of my voice. I bang things and my screaming at him will last for quite a long while. Then I ignore him.

I am loosing control of myself. It is causing too much stress to me. It is both not healthy for me and for Sunny too.

To me, it is really a hassle to clean up after him.
Once he pees on the floor, I have to:
- dry his paws first before he walks every where and stain the floor with his urine.
- remove the pee pan from the wet floor to clean the base as it gets soak in his urine. Sometimes I have to wash the pee pan.
- then I remove the newspapers which is soaked in his urine.
- after that I have to dry up the urine
- this will follow with mopping the floor with deltox
- then I will have to lay clean newspapers
- and then place back the pee pan on the clean newspapers

This process will take about 15 mins.

Sunny will pee at least three times a day.

This is so unproductive and all this could be avoided if only Sunny pees in the pee pan. Is God going to let this go on until I know how to control my temper? Or insanity or stress induced cancer going to get me first?

God!
I am angry
I am an angry person

How long are you going to subdue me???